Expectation Detox: How to Celebrate Yourself

Okay, let’s just say it: special occasions can bring special levels of disappointment. Even if some great things happened, sometimes we take our expectations to another level and focus on what did not happen. You scroll past someone’s birthday haul on Instagram—flowers, spa day, helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon—and then glance at your own “celebration,” which was… a Facebook post from your old dentist and a lukewarm grocery store cupcake. Cue the dramatic sigh. But here’s the Lifeswerve truth bomb: your worth is not measured by how loudly others cheer for you—it’s measured by how deeply you know your own value.

The problem isn’t that people forget (okay, sometimes it is, but stay with us). The real culprit? Expectations. We build up these elaborate mental rom-com scripts: “They’ll surprise me with brunch!” “They’ll know exactly what I need emotionally without me saying anything!” And when that doesn’t happen? Boom. We’re starring in the tragic sequel, “Why Don’t They Treat Me Like I Imagined?” Here's the plot twist: what if we dropped the script and just loved ourselves, wildly and intentionally, instead?

Self-worth isn’t about waiting for validation. It’s about giving yourself what you crave from others: appreciation, kindness, and maybe a new outfit! On your next birthday, anniversary, or random Tuesday, make a list of how you want to feel—and then create that feeling. Book your own massage. Write yourself a love letter. Take yourself out for dinner. Dance to your favourite playlist. WE are all are doing our best, but you don’t have to wait for someone else to get it perfect in order to feel celebrated.

If you're still carrying those hurt feelings, check out Tara Brach’s book “Radical Acceptance” or her podcast on healing unmet needs. It’s a deep but freeing dive into how we can meet ourselves with love and compassion instead of waiting for someone else to do it for us.

And if all else fails? Remember: Beyoncé throws herself parties all the time. Be like Beyoncé.

-Kim