From Fitting In to Standing Out: The Power of Being Authentically You

At some point in life, many of us wake up and realize we’ve been living like social chameleons - blending in, keeping the peace, and editing ourselves like a bad first draft. You know what I mean: nodding along when you disagree, laughing at the joke that isn’t funny, or pretending to love kale when your soul is crying out for anything else. It’s called selective silencing - the art of biting your tongue so hard you deserve danger pay. But here’s the thing: fitting in isn’t the same as belonging. Fitting in means twisting yourself to be accepted - think “we like you IF”; belonging means being accepted because of who you are. One drains your power, the other ignites it. Especially right now - we are all looking at each other thinking, “do I really agree with this?" or, "are YOU really ok with what’s happening?”

Living authentically starts with knowing your values - the non-negotiables that guide your decisions, relationships, and energy. Ask yourself: “What actually matters to me?” Not what matters to your boss, your family, or the loudest voice on social media - but you. Maybe it’s freedom, honesty, health, or kindness. When your choices line up with those values, life feels lighter. When they don’t, you feel that gut-level unease (aka your body’s built-in “this isn’t right” alarm system). Authenticity doesn’t have to be loud or rebellious - it’s simply the courage to live aligned with what feels true for you.

The fear of being ostracized for being authentic is real. But here’s the truth: the people who truly belong in your life will never make you shrink. I have felt it – when I have made big life changes in relationships and health and values – I have been excluded by some family and friends. When the chips are down – people show you who they are, so believe them.

When you show up as your real, slightly weird, imperfect self - you give others permission to do the same. That’s how authentic communities (and friendships that actually feel like oxygen) are built. The rest? They’ll fall away, and that’s not loss - it’s making space for what’s real.

Practical ways to live authentically this week:

1. Write your top three values - the things you want to be known for - and post them where you see them daily.
2. Do a “truth check” before making decisions. Ask, “Is this true to me, or am I trying to please?”
3. Practice small acts of authenticity - say what you really think in a meeting (kindly), wear what feels like you, or decline something that drains you.
4. Catch your self-editing voice. When you start toning yourself down to “fit in,” take a breath and choose you instead.

So this week, let’s make a pact: no more shapeshifting to make others comfortable. Be your full, authentic, courageous self. Because the world doesn’t need more people who fit in—it needs more people who are authentically themselves.

- Kim