Seven Years Sober - and I’m Just Getting Started

Today I am seven years sober.

Seven years of learning who I am when I’m not trying to numb what I feel. For a while, I told myself I quit drinking to give my weight loss a chance. That sounded convenient, didn’t it? The truth is, I drank too much. It wasn’t a drink here and there. Alcohol had become a way to check out, and I needed to be honest with myself about that. Once I was, everything began to change. I lost a significant amount of weight, other addictive patterns started to fall away, and I began to trust myself again.

I got curious as to why I drank,  how it started, how it was during and why I finally had enough. It meant an entire life change – not for the faint of heart, but ooooohhhhhh soooooo worth it. 

I’ve also learned that sobriety does not mean sitting at home knitting while everyone else has fun. I do everything I used to do and a lot more —dinner, concerts, shows, speaking, serving my community, working out and exercising—and I’ve even learned to dance and enjoy it without a bunch of shots first. It’s funny - I don’t tell everyone I don’t drink. So people still say, “We need a wine night!” -- Great! Let’s get together, enjoy the whole evening, and I'll be your designated driver. The best part? I don’t have to plan tomorrow around how awful I might feel.

People’s reactions have been an education of their own. Some have supported me while others are uncomfortable with my decision, as though my water choice is making a personal comment about their wine. And I’ve heard, particularly from some of the older generation, “Oh, have a drink. It won’t kill you.” Maybe not. But I know what drinking was doing to my life, and I don’t need to explain that. Some relationships changed, many have stayed the same and some ended when I stopped drinking. It also made room for people who understand the Kim I am now.

I’ve met new friends with survival stories of their own - people who have been through hard things and are out there doing incredible things with their lives. Together, we can laugh about the strange things people say, show up for one another, and make plans that don’t require a recovery day afterward. I may seem like a weirdo to some people. I can live with that. I know I’m someone my people can count on, and I know I won’t let myself down.

I’m able to do things I couldn’t do at any other age. I ride farther. I try more. I move through life with a stronger body and a clearer head, and I see my health, my experiences, my abilities, and this body as privileges of aging. That doesn’t mean every day has been easy. Seven years sober has taught me how to survive the hard days, enjoy the wonderful ones, and keep becoming more myself through all of them. And from where I stand today? Life looks pretty fantastic.

I’m just getting started.

- Kim